Every so often I try to add in a little quote or quip posted in sidenotes. Usually a short piece that I get out of my mother-in-laws newspaper clippings she gave me. Funny how different people collect different things, papers, notes, and so on, most all of these I have never seem before and are going through them one at a time every so often.
Today I came across one called In the Beginning and it actually had a note at the bottom for its source and I was able to located it. This was something she printed off her computer in 2005, and of course it is still active on the Internet today, so I am not going to post but a blurb of it here, but it is well work a read if you want to head over Bag-o-Laughs’ post called In the Beginning.
I love humor websites about our faith, Christians, God, and mix computer related stuff in there and it’s super (another good one is John over at Stuff Christians Like). So here is the first part of In the Beginning:
In the beginning there was the computer. And God said
%Let there be light!
#Enter user id.
%God
#Enter password.
%Omniscient
#Password incorrect. Try again.
%Omnipotent
#Password incorrect. Try again.
%Technocrat
#And God logged on at 12:01:00 AM, Sunday, March 1.
%Let there be light!
#Unrecognizable command. Try again.
%Create light
#Done
%Run heaven and earth
#And God created Day and Night. And God saw there were 0 errors.
#And God logged off at 12:02:00 AM, Sunday, March 1.
If you are any bit of the computer person, jump over and read the rest of it from the source, and if the above makes no sense to you at all then you are too young to remember when IBM ran the world and everything was written out in commands (I am on the fringe of that time period I think). So what are some of your favorite God humor sites? Post a few below so we can check them out.
Posts Related to This Topic:
Deb loves to point out all the niceties about living with a south paw (and there are many). She clipped this graph out of the USA Today more than 10 years ago and I just found it going through some of my old photos this past weekend.
Once again I am shown what a right handed world we live in. Everything from increased cancer risk to playing in sports, we are more likely to be doomed from birth. Yes, even scripture talks about us left handed people, but the Bible calls us out more as the privileged ones (haha).
- Judges 3:15
Again the Israelites cried out to the LORD, and he gave them a deliverer—Ehud, a left-handed man, the son of Gera the Benjamite. The Israelites sent him with tribute to Eglon king of Moab.
Judges 3:14-16 (in Context) Judges 3 (Whole Chapter)- Judges 20:16
Among all these soldiers there were seven hundred chosen men who were left-handed, each of whom could sling a stone at a hair and not miss. Judges 20:15-17 (in Context) Judges 20 (Whole Chapter)
Although I can’t imagine 700 left handed people chosen at one place to do anything, but must have been a heck of a party.
Posts Related to This Topic:
This is a continuation of my Sunday posts called Quotes and Quips. This week, Children’s Answers to Sunday School Questions. Most of these were saved by my mother-in-law in a notebook full of cute sayings. Some of us remember the days of Sunday School growing up, and sooner or later we had to actually learn something. Here is a list of “answers” that kids gave in Sunday School (you will have to figure out the questions (date is from around 1990).
Top 15 Answers Kids Gave in Sunday School
- Noah’s wife was called Joan of Ark
- The fifth commandment is “Humor thy father and mother.”
- Lot’s wife was a pillar of salt by day, and a ball of fire at night.
- When Mary heard she was to be the mother of Jesus, she went off and sang Magna Carta
- Salome was a woman who danced naked in front of Harrods.
- Holy acrimony is another name for marriage.
- The Pope lives in a vacuum.
- Paraffin is next in order after seraphim.
- The patron saint of travelers is St. Francis of the sea sick.
- Iran is the Bible of Moslem’s
- A republican is a sinner mentioned in the Bible
- The natives of Macedonia did not believe, so Paul got stoned.
- The first commandment was when Eve told Adam to eat the apple.
- It is sometimes difficult to hear what is being said in church because the agnostics are so terrible.
- God told Joseph to take Mary, and Jesus, and flea, to Egypt.
Posts Related to This Topic:
This is my weekly Sunday post for Quotes and Quips that I put over in the sidenotes section of my blog. I try for something light hearted and short on Sunday’s as the weekend winds down. Seeing that my last post just a few minutes ago was anything but, I wanted to share this poem with you. My mother-in-law clipped out many different quotes she liked over the years. Being a music director in church most of her adult church life, this sounds like her.
Speed If you Must
If you must speed on the road, sing these hymns loudly;
at 45 mph…
“God Will Take Care of Me”
at 55 mph…
“Guide Me O Great Jehovah”
at 65 mph…
“Nearer My God to Thee”
at 75 mph…
“Nearer Still Nearer”
at 85 mph…
“This World is not My Home”
at 95 mph…
“Lord, I’m Coming Home”
at 100 mph…
“Precious Memories”
I hope you got a chance to relax a little bit this Sunday.
Posts Related to This Topic:
This is a continuation of the Quotes and Quips set of posts I am doing on Sunday’s (see last week’s entry called Quotes and Quips // a Real Life). Just something light for Sunday out of my mother-in-law’s notebook of quotes. She loved clipping out quotes from books and newspapers and she has collected some good ones over the years. I hope to continue going through them over the months and posted the more interesting ones here, but I will also post some poems and lyrics that I find and take meaning in my life. Similar to what Georgia did with her newspaper clippings but online.
Give Thanks
Give thanks to God for all His gifts
Every time you count them it will give you a life.Give thanks for your mind and your health
In both of them there is great wealth.Give thanks for all your friends
Their kindness never ends.Give thanks for your good eyes
To see beauty and wonders that around you lies.As the old hymn says, “Count your blessings one by one”
It will surprise you what God has done.-Louise Russell
Louise Russell, at the time of this writing (date unknown) was a 91-year old resident of San Juan Care Center, Del Norte, Colorado, where she is a shining example to all as both person and poet. In keeping with the thought of this post, (and a long overdue acknowledgment of Worship Journey’s post called exactly), I changed my about me page on my personal journal blog to reflect five people that have influenced my life the most as of late.
So, thanks to these folks, who as of late have weaved their way into my life and made a difference to me. My wife, my dad, Brian Johnson, Jack Fisher, Josh Agerton, and Heath Spurlock. So that is actually six, sorry, and thanks, Louise.
Posts Related to This Topic:
This is a small post series I started last week called Quotes and Quips (see last entry called Quotes and Quips // a Little Dirty Dinner) that is taken from small pieces that my mother-in-law saved or cutout and put in a binder.
The binder was left to me when she passed away back in April and I am sharing a few of her favorites, this one is called A Real Life, I had not read this or seen this text before today, but I really like it and wanted to share it with my readers. This one was really an incredible look at how a lady thought who impacted this world in such a great way before her death. She even had questions about her own faith and wrote about these questions in her own journal and that to me was the most genuine thing I had ever heard about her.
People are unreasonable,
illogical and self-centered.
Love them anyway.If you do good, people will
accuse you of selfish motives.
Do good anyway.if you are successful, you may
win false friends and true enemies.
Succeed anyway.The good you do today may be
forgotten tomorrow.
Do good anyway.Honest and transparency make
you vulnerable.
Be honest and transparent anyway.What you spend years building
may be destroyed overnight.
Build anyway.People who really want help may
attack you if you help them.
Help them anyway.Give the world the best you
have and you may be hurt.
Give the world your bests anyway.- Mother Teresa
It is not a comical or humorous poem but I like the heart that comes with it. When someone tells you that you should go “help” someone and has never done anything with their life it isn’t quite as powerful as when Mother Teresa says the same thing.
Mother Teresa spent her life helping others, but from what I have read, it also gave her great joy. I was fascinated by the letters that surfaced after her death where people questioned her faith. From one line of one letter where she said:
Jesus has a very special love for you. [But] as for me, the silence and the emptiness is so great, that I look and do not see, Listen and do not hear the tongue moves [in prayer] but does not speak … I want you to pray for me — that I let Him have [a] free hand.
That to me is powerful. Someone is our world is always looking to take a shot at faith in Jesus Christ and will jump at any chance. That to me is a spiritual person who can look more honestly at herself than any of us probably can, and it shows she was human.
Do you have something like this poem to share? Just leave a comment below with the link so we can go read it. My mother-in-law loved to collect little clippings, I know she wasn’t the only one.
